You know it's a fucked up world we live in when the U.S. Congress is likely to approve ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY BILLION DOLLARS for a completely un-winnable, useless war in Iraq and we can't even slow down for people trying to cross the fucking street. Hey, fuck face in the big black truck who doesn't give a shit if I live or die? I hope you don't kill somebody less important than you just because you're late for your stupid ass meeting...

Hey!?
Dumbass!?
It's "all intents and purposes" not "all intensive purposes"
It's "regimen" when it involves some sort of strict routine.
It's "regime" when it involves a set of rules dictating how a government operates.
It's "taut" when referring to the slack being taken out of a line.
It's "taunt" when kids are teasing one another.
"A.M." means before noon and "P.M." means afternoon.
Thus, if you have flight to catch at "8:00 A.M." you don't need to add "in the morning" to the end.
If you are going to Starbucks to get a concentrated coffee drink, you are buying an "espresso" not an "expresso", which simply sounds like some term dreamed up in a (now failed) ad agency.

If I have any readers (ever or remaining) you now have permission to skewer me in regard to my spelling and usage of the English language.
I only request that you flame me after 10:00 A.M. in the morning.

16 Switches- Hail Yeah, Word to the Mother Fuckin Streets

I'm testing out this wacky new feature- let's see if it works-

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Now playing: Dr. Dre Feat. RBX & Snoop Dogg - Let Me Ride
via FoxyTunes

retail etiquette? for both sides...

Okay. I try to not bring business stuff into the mix on this blog- mostly because this is my own ranting shit. But I'm gonna do it- and I'll probably pay for it later.
If you go into a store, any store, and an employee says "Hi, how's it goin'?" and you just stand there and don't say anything, don't expect that employee to query you or engage you again until it's a bit more obvious that you're wanting some assistance.
This just happened to me- I'm sitting on the sofa with my lunch, notice a customer come in and walk toward me. I greet him and he just stares at me and then looks away. I assume he just wants to poke around or is waiting to speak directly with another employee at the store. He stands there a few more seconds and then simply walks out. I get up and try to catch him as he's heading down the street but he just disappeared. (Maybe he was just a ghostly apparition?)
So now I'm sure that I'll get some nasty e-mail about how he was ignored for a millisecond and will never, ever shop here again and he's gonna tell all of his friends to fire bomb the store and then make sure that all future generations know about this injustice.
To be fair, there are many places where a customer, with money in hand, literally, can stand around, waiting for someone, anyone, to simply complete the transaction. And it simply doesn't happen.
However, that is not what happened here today. So clearly, there is a middle ground here- a give and take that must happen in order for the transaction to take place. On the flip side, how many times does a gentle customer come in, we greet him with a friendly "How're you doing today?" and they immediately defend, "I'M JUST LOOKING! JUST LOOKING!"
It's rough, because I know exactly what inspires that kind of defense. Being attacked and followed and hounded and pushed by an aggressive salesperson absolutely blows. I hate it. It's like when Safeway enacted their new policy of sucking up to their customers until everyone's freaking heads exploded. "Did you find everything that you were looking for today, Mr. Bragstad? Thank you so much for your your patronage today. Can we help you paint your house or do some laundry for you today, Mr. Bragstad? How's the family today, everyone healthy? Did I tell you how much we love you and yours today, Mr. Bragstad? Thank you so much, Mr. Bragstad." You just want to run.
Is there no meeting some people halfway? Is it futile to try to please everyone? Are some people just looking for some conflict to justify their position? I may never know. But please, if you have a bad experience with a business, please, please make professional, civil contact with the manager or owner and let them know what happened. And do so with an open mind. It's entirely possible that you misunderstood what happened. It's entirely possible that you will be heard and the situation can be corrected.


Or you may have to go home and start making your Molotov Cocktails.

man, another retraction

So yeah, go ahead and click on the link to purchase the li'l container for your cigarette butts- but remember, you'll have to buy a minimum of 25 for $45. So simply get 24 of your eco-aware smoking buddies together and split the cost. It'll be a blast. Shit, better yet, just go ahead and get 9,999 of your friends together and get the 10,000 super-pack. It's only $21,500. One of you could get rid of your car to pay for it and earn extra credit. Let's stamp this cigarette butt litter thing out, right now. They're making it sooo easy.

I am absolutely DONE with this shit.

FUCK THIS...

Oh, and while we're at it...

FUCK THIS, TOO

I try not to whine too much, and I think I do a pretty decent job of bucking up (although this blog is just my bitching and complaining), but I am really fucking sick of this bullshit weather. If I wanted a snowstorm every weekend+, I'd have moved to fucking Maine.
Hey, anyone who gives a shit, wherever you are- go to your local bike shop when the weather is shitty and buy something, anything. A fucking tube or a godamn powerbar, anything. Thanks.

The World Is Not Your Ashtray

HEY! ASSHOLE! THE WORLD IS NOT YOUR FUCKING ASHTRAY!!
What's the problem? Doesn't your car have one? Couldn't find an empty Diet Coke can to put them in? Ignorant? Or do you simply NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR DISGUSTING HABIT ARE MORE IMPORTANT?!!!


I spent about 5 minutes picking up a pile of cigarette butts in front of the store this morning. It doesn't look good if you're trying to cater to the athletic set when there are cigarette butts piled up in the doorway of your store. I did a little bit of research and found that:

• More than 4.5 trillion cigarette butts are littered every year
• Cigarette butts are not biodegradable- plastic filters and synthetic fibers in filters can linger in the environment for many, many years

• Cigarette butts, due to their size, typically end up getting washed into gutters, sewers, and eventually back into the water system where chemicals leach out, harming aquatic flora & fauna. Think there aren't enough chemicals in a single little cigarette butt? Try to imagine only 4.5 thousand of them in your local swimming hole! Think of just 10 years worth swirling around your local beach!

Some more facts, from an organization that started out cleaning up Australia, and has now gone global, here.

This is just one part of their solution, and I like it:


A butt shaped pocket ashtray that you can carry around with you to put 'em in, available here.

Thanks for letting me bitch.

I never had one of those frankie goes to hollywood shirts either

Goddamn I'm a dork.
Did I just frickin quote George Michael in my last post?!
Holy crap.
If anyone is reading this locally and you want to punch me ("not the face! not the face!) go ahead. That's fine, I deserve it.
click here for a giggle...
what the fuck? g. michael hippity hop

In my defense, it was meant tongue-in-cheek. I should've put some sort of stupid smiley or emoticon thing in or something. Oh well. Just punch me.